Friday, July 7th, 2006, 7:00 PM Pizza Box, 176 Bleecker St, New York, NY (The Village), 3 slices at $2.25 each The Friday night Asylum / Pizza Box tradition continues. Every time we order pies from here I come that much closer to swearing off slice-at-the-counter orders for good. The difference between an old, reheated slice and a fresh, hot pie is just ridiculous. Just ridiculous.

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006, 7:00 PM Pizza Park, 1233 1st Ave, New York, NY (Upper East Side), 1 slice for $2.25 Of the three places I visited today, this was easily a) the worst and b) the most crowded. This is proof that pizza illiteracy is a major social ill and someone, somewhere needs to launch a viable educational program before the worthwhile places fall into oblivion and all we're left with is Sbarro's (and here). Okay, fine, I'll admit the gigantic garlic knots looked pretty good. But that's it.

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006, 6:45 PM Sutton Pizza & Gyro, 1140 1st Ave, New York, NY (Upper East Side), 1 slice for $2.25 Part II in my Lower Upper East Side pizza tour, my slice looked atrocious compared to the beauty I laid eyes on at Ultimate Pizza 15 minutes earlier, so I was prepared for the worst. But it was actually pretty good, if a bit on the cheesy side. It's a worthy asset to the neighborhood.

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006, 6:30 PM The Ultimate Pizza, 491 E. 57th St, New York, NY (Upper East Side), 1 slice for $2.25 This is great pizza, no if's, and's, or but's. I could tell it was great just by looking at it, and from the moment I bit down I realized I was having the best traditional New York slice I've encountered in ages. Too bad it's in such an inaccessible location; otherwise I'd visit regularly.

Sunday, June 25th, 2006, 6:30 PM Celeste, 502 Amsterdam Ave, New York, NY (Upper West Side), one 10" pie (4 wide slices) for $11.00 Celeste has steadily built a reputation as a casual, affordable, authentic Neapolitan trattoria run by a chef committed to culinary excellence (he's been known to fly cheeses in from Italy personally). This reputation extends to the wood-fired pizzas, so I was excited to finally experience the magic myself. While our margherita pie looked alarmingly like a supermarket frozen pizza, it was clearly made from superior ingredients and tasted respectably good. But I have to be honest: I was expecting more. The crust was undistinguished for a wood-fired byproduct and the sauce was sparse and barely detectable. Nothing was bad, but nothing stood out. This pizza was more another piece of our broader meal than a star in and of itself. But maybe that's the point. Our full meal, which included fine olive oil, wine, fish, pasta, and dessert, was excellent and memorable. It's that entire experience, not any single course, that defines Celeste and builds its reputation.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006, 7:00 PM Pizza Box, 176 Bleecker St, New York, NY (Greenwich Village), 4 slices at $2.25 each Another night, another gorge session at Pizza Box. This session came in two phases: first a pie delivered to our nearby watering hole of choice and second a couple of slices in the backyard garden to round out the night. This time was especially awesome because every slice we had was piping hot, fresh out of the oven. You just wanted to cry at the hot, gooey cheese that welcomed you like a long lost friend.

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006, 6:30 PM Lazarra's Pizza Cafe, 221 W 38th St, New York, NY (Garment District), one square pie for $14.00 This must be the weirdest pizza place on earth. Climb the steps of a random tenement building on a grimy sidestreet, walk towards the bathroom at the end of the narrow hall, and cut right at the last second into an ancient tin-ceilinged room illuminated entirely in red. It's like Twin Peaks without the midgets. And it turns out their signature square (not Sicilian!) pie is quite good, particularly the crust. It's a bit pricey, but I'll be back.

Saturday, June 3rd, 2006, 4:30 PM Penn Station Pizza, Penn Station, upper concourse (by Krispy Kreme), 2 slices at $2.25 each The neon sign simply says "Pizza", so I have no idea what this place is actually called. But I do know it offers a perfectly adequate slice when you're in Penn Station and needing a fix. It's nothing phenomenal, but it's good enough to keep me coming back and I trust it over all the other pizza places in the station.

Sunday, May 21st, 2006, 6:15 PM Ray's Pizza, 27 Prince St, New York, NY (NoLita), 1 slice for $2.25 This Ray's has legitimate claim to the term "original". But more importantly, it has a reputation for being good (unlike any of its like-named siblings). I can't say I was overwhelmed by the slice I ate, but it wasn't bad. So I guess the reputation is deserved.

Saturday, May 20th, 2006, 1:45 PM Maffei Pizza, 688 6th Ave (Chelsea), 2 slices at $2.00 each I never thought much of this place due to its drab & generic exterior, but rumors of a superior Grandma's slice had to be investigated. And sure enough, there was some treasure to be found. The sauce and cheese on my regular slice were uninspiring, but the crust was absolutely wonderful. The interplay between its crunchy outer shell and soft interior was easily the highlight of the meal. My Grandma's slice was much the same, with some extra bonus points thrown in for the heavy chunks of tasty tomato. Everything seemed unnecessarily greasy, but you could definitely do worse than this.

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006, 12:30 PM Naples 45, 200 Park Ave, New York, NY (Midtown), 2 slices at $2.50 each Loud, expensive, and shamelessly corporate, Naples 45 dishes up excellent Neapolitan-style pies that trounce most everything else in midtown. This is legitimate high-end pizza. I just wish they'd put more care into the takeout section, which is cheaper (and therefore less lucrative) than the sitdown area that occupies 95% of their space. The takeout stock replenishes infrequently, so the options are often cold and/or unavailable. But even a cold Naples 45 slice beats a fresh slice from most places, so this is more than tolerable.

Sunday, May 14th, 2006, 6:30 PM Rosario's Pizza, 173 Orchard St, New York, NY (Lower East Side), 2 slices at $2.00 each I wanted to like this place. It's a neighborhood institution that's served consistently great food to the local community since time immemorial. It fought a painful battle against one of those nasty Ray's branches that pushed it out of its historic location on Houston St. It's owner is one of the nicest people on earth. But the problem is...it just isn't very good. Rumors of a decline seem to be absolutely true, because what I experienced today was shockingly subpar. I fully believe the pizza here was once great. I fully believe this used to be a jewel in the rough, where the ingredients were top-notch and the dough was spun with love. But times change and old legends die (especially in today's Lower East Side). And the Rosario's of old is clearly no more, even if you can still get some pizza there.